So now I’m really gettin’ bloggy wit’ it, referencing studies and trying to seem cool and opinionated and stuff. Today, a press release landed right smack in my in-box and I couldn’t resist. Did you know that middle-aged-and-older men who don’t ditch their wives for younger women are actually exhibiting suicidal behavior?

A study released last month found that men who marry women between 15 and 17 years younger than they are lower their chances of dying early by a whopping 20 percent. Men decrease the risk of premature death by 11 percent if their wives are seven to nine years younger. The certifiably insane guys who opt for older women have an 11 percent higher chance of dying earlier.

Assuming that “early” in this case doesn’t mean in the morning as opposed to in the afternoon, this information really puts my mind at rest. My own separation did not involve cradle robbery, so I have no personal axe to grind. But just this past weekend I was at a Big Chill-esque dinner party. A group of us who went to college together gathered to reconnect with one another–and also to bolster the spirits of a friend whose husband recently left her for a significantly younger woman after three decades and several children.

No one said it out loud, but I suspect many of us were thinking that this woman’s husband was just one more dumb-ass middle-age cliche.

How wrong we were! I mean, this new research proves that the guy went the younger-babe route purely for health reasons, just as one might suddenly start taking fish oil or a multi-vitamin. Instead of dissing him and jumping to conclusions, we should be grateful that he didn’t have a death wish.

(The research only applied to men in Denmark, but I think it’s safe to extrapolate, don’t you?)