Comments on: Ex-Rings and Other Stuff http://livinginsplitsville.com/wordpress/2009/05/19/ex-rings-and-other-dilemmas-in-splitsville/ Notes on a Midlife Makeover Sat, 22 Oct 2011 01:37:11 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.1.1 By: AndrewBoldman http://livinginsplitsville.com/wordpress/2009/05/19/ex-rings-and-other-dilemmas-in-splitsville/comment-page-1/#comment-73 AndrewBoldman Thu, 04 Jun 2009 18:24:01 +0000 http://livinginsplitsville.com/wordpress/?p=151#comment-73 Hi, cool post. I have been wondering about this topic,so thanks for writing. Hi, cool post. I have been wondering about this topic,so thanks for writing.

]]> By: Anne http://livinginsplitsville.com/wordpress/2009/05/19/ex-rings-and-other-dilemmas-in-splitsville/comment-page-1/#comment-45 Anne Tue, 26 May 2009 05:35:45 +0000 http://livinginsplitsville.com/wordpress/?p=151#comment-45 I took the easy way out: left my rings on the kitchen counter the day I moved out of our martial home. He wanted to give them back to me "to give (oldest daughter)". I flat out said, "If you want them to go to (oldeest daughter), you keep them, becuase I'll just hock 'em." I feel they're cursed rings and want nothing to do with them. I left my wedding dress and anything associated with that day at the house too. Begone, you evil memories! You're not following me on to my new life! Nah, there's no resentment towards the cheating &%$#$%*...none at all.... ;-) Anne I took the easy way out: left my rings on the kitchen counter the day I moved out of our martial home. He wanted to give them back to me “to give (oldest daughter)”. I flat out said, “If you want them to go to (oldeest daughter), you keep them, becuase I’ll just hock ‘em.” I feel they’re cursed rings and want nothing to do with them.

I left my wedding dress and anything associated with that day at the house too. Begone, you evil memories! You’re not following me on to my new life!

Nah, there’s no resentment towards the cheating &%$#$%*…none at all…. ;-)

Anne

]]> By: pam kruger http://livinginsplitsville.com/wordpress/2009/05/19/ex-rings-and-other-dilemmas-in-splitsville/comment-page-1/#comment-41 pam kruger Fri, 22 May 2009 18:39:14 +0000 http://livinginsplitsville.com/wordpress/?p=151#comment-41 christina, love your blog! i agree with the last poster--wait, and one day an answer of what to do with the artifacts of your marriage will come to you. christina, love your blog! i agree with the last poster–wait, and one day an answer of what to do with the artifacts of your marriage will come to you.

]]> By: Jackie Dishner http://livinginsplitsville.com/wordpress/2009/05/19/ex-rings-and-other-dilemmas-in-splitsville/comment-page-1/#comment-38 Jackie Dishner Thu, 21 May 2009 21:42:33 +0000 http://livinginsplitsville.com/wordpress/?p=151#comment-38 Christina, First of all, you're not even fully divorced yet. So why worry about all of this stuff? My advice: Don't. Not yet. Wait till you're ready to deal with that stuff. That's all it is. I was officially divorced in 2004. Four years later, I got rid of the dress. My daughter and her husband had been living with me for a short time (in between houses), and when they moved out, they packed up a bunch of my old stuff to get rid of, just as they were getting rid of some old stuff of theirs. They took it all to Goodwill, including my old wedding dress. I did ask my daughter if she wanted it before she'd gotten married. But, no, she didn't. So I let them have it that afternoon, and they shoved it in the back of their SUV. The next time I saw it, it was hanging in the Goodwill store window. That was funny. It had been stuffed in that sealed box for so long, but it was still white as new. Hope it got some good use. I don't miss it. Wasn't sad to see it go. It was time. As for my ring, I used the services of one of my networking mates here in Phoenix--a jeweler--to remake my ring last year as well. I had a diamond in a GOLD band. She put the diamond in a white gold band and enlarged it so it would fit my middle finger. Symbolic any way you might think. But when I picked it up and put it on, I said, "Well, how do you like that? I just married myself!" Made me smile. Truth is, I very rarely wear the ring. But I like knowing that it's now associated with a more pleasant meaning. So, if I were you, I'd wait to figure out what to do with all this symbolic stuff. Some day, you might arrive at the answer when you aren't even looking. By the way, you might want to connect with my blog. Mine focuses on my BIKE philosophy and how to turn obstacles (like divorce) into an opportunity. All my best, Jackie Christina,

First of all, you’re not even fully divorced yet. So why worry about all of this stuff? My advice: Don’t. Not yet. Wait till you’re ready to deal with that stuff. That’s all it is.

I was officially divorced in 2004. Four years later, I got rid of the dress. My daughter and her husband had been living with me for a short time (in between houses), and when they moved out, they packed up a bunch of my old stuff to get rid of, just as they were getting rid of some old stuff of theirs. They took it all to Goodwill, including my old wedding dress. I did ask my daughter if she wanted it before she’d gotten married. But, no, she didn’t. So I let them have it that afternoon, and they shoved it in the back of their SUV. The next time I saw it, it was hanging in the Goodwill store window. That was funny. It had been stuffed in that sealed box for so long, but it was still white as new. Hope it got some good use. I don’t miss it. Wasn’t sad to see it go. It was time.

As for my ring, I used the services of one of my networking mates here in Phoenix–a jeweler–to remake my ring last year as well. I had a diamond in a GOLD band. She put the diamond in a white gold band and enlarged it so it would fit my middle finger. Symbolic any way you might think. But when I picked it up and put it on, I said, “Well, how do you like that? I just married myself!” Made me smile. Truth is, I very rarely wear the ring. But I like knowing that it’s now associated with a more pleasant meaning.

So, if I were you, I’d wait to figure out what to do with all this symbolic stuff. Some day, you might arrive at the answer when you aren’t even looking.

By the way, you might want to connect with my blog. Mine focuses on my BIKE philosophy and how to turn obstacles (like divorce) into an opportunity.

All my best,
Jackie

]]> By: Shauntelle@Abeautifulabode.com http://livinginsplitsville.com/wordpress/2009/05/19/ex-rings-and-other-dilemmas-in-splitsville/comment-page-1/#comment-36 Shauntelle@Abeautifulabode.com Wed, 20 May 2009 20:04:05 +0000 http://livinginsplitsville.com/wordpress/?p=151#comment-36 Save the rings for the kids. Even though I sold the gold things from my previous marriage, I did save the wedding ring for my daughter. She's sentimental and I think it's nice for her to know that I didn't try to forget my marriage to her father ever happened... I also saved the photo album. Right now that stuff might not be important to your kid(s) but it may be later. No matter how you feel right this minute (and I'm sure, if you're anything like me, that changes hour by hour), it's good for your children to know that there was LOVE there... they didn't come from something meaningless. Anyway, that was my take on it... (Hugs) Save the rings for the kids. Even though I sold the gold things from my previous marriage, I did save the wedding ring for my daughter. She’s sentimental and I think it’s nice for her to know that I didn’t try to forget my marriage to her father ever happened… I also saved the photo album. Right now that stuff might not be important to your kid(s) but it may be later. No matter how you feel right this minute (and I’m sure, if you’re anything like me, that changes hour by hour), it’s good for your children to know that there was LOVE there… they didn’t come from something meaningless. Anyway, that was my take on it… (Hugs)

]]> By: L1za Lauber http://livinginsplitsville.com/wordpress/2009/05/19/ex-rings-and-other-dilemmas-in-splitsville/comment-page-1/#comment-35 L1za Lauber Wed, 20 May 2009 05:03:37 +0000 http://livinginsplitsville.com/wordpress/?p=151#comment-35 I have that same dress, in that same hermetically sealed box and had those same thoughts. It has a large plastic window for viewing, the breast area and sleeves and bodice stuffed with tissue paper making it look like it has a body in it. My head wreath lays on top like the fairy virgin's halo. I rescued it from my mother's basement flood, shipped it across the country and it sits on top of a cabinet in the "back house. It is creepy to hold on to it, yet I can't seem to let it go. Maybe it's because I haven't let the rest go yet. Maybe because my mom saved hers while I was still into dress up. I remember trying it on at my grandma's house. I had the wedding book and the dress, testaments that I did have a father once. Maybe we should save those dresses. Maybe instead of imagining our daughters wearing them at their weddings, ( AS IF) They can be appreciated as historical family references to the time period from which we came, and a peek into the experience of love and romance that actually once existed between their parents. I have that same dress, in that same hermetically sealed box and had those same thoughts. It has a large plastic window for viewing, the breast area and sleeves and bodice stuffed with tissue paper making it look like it has a body in it. My head wreath lays on top like the fairy virgin’s halo. I rescued it from my mother’s basement flood, shipped it across the country and it sits on top of a cabinet in the “back house. It is creepy to hold on to it, yet I can’t seem to let it go. Maybe it’s because I haven’t let the rest go yet. Maybe because my mom saved hers while I was still into dress up. I remember trying it on at my grandma’s house. I had the wedding book and the dress, testaments that I did have a father once. Maybe we should save those dresses. Maybe instead of imagining our daughters wearing them at their weddings, ( AS IF) They can be appreciated as historical family references to the time period from which we came, and a peek into the experience of love and romance that actually once existed between their parents.

]]> By: Rachel Prince http://livinginsplitsville.com/wordpress/2009/05/19/ex-rings-and-other-dilemmas-in-splitsville/comment-page-1/#comment-34 Rachel Prince Tue, 19 May 2009 19:05:55 +0000 http://livinginsplitsville.com/wordpress/?p=151#comment-34 You mentioned former in-laws... how does former husband sound? Or first husband ;) And WEAR the sapphire (or give it to me,) i lost my great grandmother's sapphire (which i wore ever day, tho' it was loose on my finger )on a Coney Island outing, and felt that empty finger with the fidgeting habit i used to do playing with it idly for months afterwards... You could ask the girls about the dress? Love reading this, btw. You mentioned former in-laws… how does former husband sound? Or first husband ;) And WEAR the sapphire (or give it to me,) i lost my great grandmother’s sapphire (which i wore ever day, tho’ it was loose on my finger )on a Coney Island outing, and felt that empty finger with the fidgeting habit i used to do playing with it idly for months afterwards…

You could ask the girls about the dress?

Love reading this, btw.

]]> By: Kristin http://livinginsplitsville.com/wordpress/2009/05/19/ex-rings-and-other-dilemmas-in-splitsville/comment-page-1/#comment-33 Kristin Tue, 19 May 2009 17:01:54 +0000 http://livinginsplitsville.com/wordpress/?p=151#comment-33 Ha! I too bemoaned the loss of my engagement ring. I just went ahead and wore it - switching hands b/c it does look very marital, but then Bill freaked out when he learned what it was and insisted I take it off. Nash doesn't care & so sometimes I wear it now but somehow over the years it has acquired MORE associations, not less. Ha! I too bemoaned the loss of my engagement ring. I just went ahead and wore it – switching hands b/c it does look very marital, but then Bill freaked out when he learned what it was and insisted I take it off. Nash doesn’t care & so sometimes I wear it now but somehow over the years it has acquired MORE associations, not less.

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