Dating with the Masses
May 13th, 2009 by Christina
Hey, baby, wanna date me? (friend next to me not included)

Hey, wanna date me? (friend on right not included)

I was still getting used to the heady, yet lonely, kid-free every-other-weekend life a few months after R moved out when my married friends across the street—one of those internet-dating success stories that make you feel OK about the whole enterprise—suggested I join an online dating site. Given that I work at home, still socialize primarily among the hitched, and am way too shy to pick up someone in a bar (do people really do that?), I figured my chances of meeting a man any other way were not good at all.

I tried to feel all perfectly fine and this is what everyone does nowadays about it as I forged ahead, answered 300 multiple choice questions about my favorite things to do, eat, read, watch, drink, smell, touch and step in. I was asked to rate on a five-point scale ranging from “never” to “always” inane statements such as “I dislike some people”  and “I often clean the house before company arrives.” Yes, really. Apparently there is legitimate science behind these questionnaires. Most of the bigger sites, in fact, claim to have had theirs developed by a well-known psychologist or anthropologist.

Then I had to select traits that I found acceptable in a mate, a task which led to much obsessing on my part. I knew I couldn’t rule out “bald,” given that I was shooting for middle-aged men, but that led me to wonder if men my age even want a 45-year-old woman. Was it true that men in their 40s got to date women in their 20s? I decided it was fine to insist on someone my height or taller (I’m 5’ 9”) and checked off “athletic and toned” or “slender” under body type. As for “languages spoken,” I went with Tagalog and Urdu (did not; just kidding.)

It took me a few weeks to complete the profile, and more than once I considered bagging it entirely. But then I pictured myself old and all alone with my increasingly-challenging jigsaw puzzles, and forged ahead. Sometime in late October, I finally coughed up my credit-card digits, clicked on “submit” and became a member of a major online dating site.

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4 Responses  
me writes:
May 13th, 2009 at 10:40 am

oooh, wahat happened next?

Internet Dating Sites writes:
May 21st, 2009 at 7:41 am

Thanks for sharing this informative post . i will visit this blog again

KeHoeff writes:
May 28th, 2009 at 1:58 pm

hey this is a very interesting article!

Living in Splitsville » Blog Archive » Today is the First Day of the Rest of my Life. Again. writes:
July 13th, 2009 at 9:36 am

[...] “You go, girl!” type birthday cards. About a month after solidly hitting middle age, I joined a dating site–and if you’ve been reading, you know how that [...]

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